Maybe I just need to vent...

Do you ever just want to look up at heaven and shout, "are ya kidding me?!"

Do you ever then realize that it's not God you should be yelling at, but that mean ol' devil at his best!?!?

I feel like 2011 has been one heck of a roller coaster and it's only April. And I'm not saying that it's only been a harder year than normal for me, but it seems like so many people right now are just going through....CRAP! (if i can put it honestly...)

I have a trait though that doesn't help me when I hear bad news. I can hear bad news about someone that I don't even know, and I'm upset the rest of the day. Much less what I'm like when someone I know, love, care about is going through something difficult. I feel like I take their problems, and they become mine also. It's just who I am.

Just since January, I've had to help dear dear friends go through divorces. I have to watch sweet close friends lose babies. I've had to hear the news of a friends mom getting hit by a drunk driver. I have to watch my mom endure another insane surgery in a couple of weeks. Cancer is hitting too many people I know, and there just have been too many sicknesses this winter.

It's almost enough to completely bum ya out!! Just last week I "vowed" to myself to try to distance myself a little bit from reality...and focus more on me spiritually. I realized that apparently the devil is coming full force right now, and I needed to become devoted that the devil can only get to me as much as I let him in!!

In the midst of all of these messes, God is STILL in control. And often times I find myself letting the devil just take over. I let all of these horrible things going on around me, get me down, instead of firing me up for the plans of God.

God never promised sunsets and roses every day of our lives, but he did promise that HE is over it all. He has plans. He has a vision. He has a purpose for EVERYTHING we are going through.

I love that image above. Prayer has been so much the source of strength for me lately. I have always loved the Lord, prayed, studied his word...but how often of that lately had I put into ACTION...not enough. Not nearly enough.

So with all the hurt, the troubled times, the heartache, the "how could that happen" things that are coming about from every angle lately, I needed the encouragement of God's word. I needed to fall back on what God has told me all of my life, so that when the devil is showing his ugly head, I'll know it's the devil...and I can fight him off with the word of God. Because we are his children, he loves me, he only wants what's best for me, and what he has planned for my life is ten times over better than any plans I could ever make for myself!! How awesome is that!!

Our God today is the same God that was here yesterday. The good, the bad, the ugly...My prayer is that I never question him unless I'm asking, "ok, so what do you want me to get from this...I'm ready grow in you." Easier said than done- yes. Acheivable- absolutely.

I hope someone else might have needed to read this, but regardless, I needed to vent what God is firing up in my heart. Once again, God showing me why it's not always rainbows and roses...he is desiring more of my heart (and yours), and you just can't deny it when you feel it! :)