Confessions

So Dictionary.com states that a confession is a formal acknowledgement of guilt. While I hardly think that blogging is a formal acknowledgment, it's all coming out here.

So I have to start this off right- my first confession is that I copied this idea from another blog I stumbled upon, but I loved it!! It's raw. It's true. It made me laugh.

So I thought, it's Sunday, a day of rest, and a day of reflection, baby is napping - why the heck not admit my "guilt" on the internet for who so ever stumbles across this website. You ready?!?

Confession #1: I act stressed out sometimes at home (when I'm not) just to get my husband off the couch to do something. It's not fair, even if I'm not stressed, I don't ever get to sit.

Confession #2: I more times than not have to rewash the clothes that have been washed in the washer b/c I start it, then forget about it for a day, and then open it up and go "oh yeah.." rewash (grosses me out to think they have sat there for 24 hours) i hate laundry that bad that I can THAT easily push it to the back of my mind... :) it's a talent.

Confession #3: There are days that I still watch Full House in the middle of the afternoon.

Confession #4: Just like this other mom put on her confession blog, I like her, do not listen to kid tunes like i should around my child. It is all "today's hit music", and honestly, she loves it. We dance to my ipod quite frequently, and there is no "this little light of mine" kid music on it. But she has developed quite the beat when she dances, and I'm already thinking ahead into dance classes b/c of this. How bad am I?!?!

Confession #5: I sit up in bed everynight when we're in bed in hopes while my husband is watching "Pawn Stars" he'll rub my back since, hey, it's right in front of him...most of the times he does, but if he doesn't, I've started a huge habit of pouting. hahaha. Spoiled...yes, I can admit that too. :)

Confession #6: I feel on the days that I do the BIG walmart run, should mean that I don't have to do anything else the rest of the day. I mean both (Jaycee and I) have to get dressed, load her with me, spend 1-2 hours at walmart, load the car, unload the car, unload the child, and put all the groceries away...which usually ends with me having to clean out the cabinets and the refrigerator, b/c well, it just doesn't all fit. And tend to the 1 year old that at some point is going to have a breakdown. Doesn't that wear you out reading it!! Josh doesn't understand this..

Confession #7: When we have doctors appointments, I make them as early as I can...why...b/c it MAKES me get dressed. B/c on the days we have nothing going on, I tend to stay braless and in pjs all day, and while I know this is unacceptable, Jaycee is the only one around, and at this time, doesn't seem to mind.

Confession #8: In regards to confession #7, on these days, I tend to get dressed, brush my teeth, and brush my hair right before Josh gets home (at 430), to try to make it appear I've done something with myself on that day. For all he knows I've been like this since 8am...right??! I'll never tell him otherwise... :)

Confession #9: There are times when Josh and I are in the car and a song will come on that in MY mind, I think I can sing pretty well, so what do I do...I start singing it, and I keep singing it, and I try my hardest to sing it so well in hopes my husband is going to compliment my singing ability....it hasn't happened yet...not even once...I should get the picture.

Confession #10: I secretly still consider my dog "my firstborn" and I WILL be in a mental institute one day when he passes. My husband has stated he has already mentally prepared himself to realize that he will be visiting his wife in a "facility" when that day comes. :)


Whew, I think I'll stop there!! :) I can't believe I just admitted all those things! It was actually fun though. Whats yours?? Don't lie to yourself, you got em' too!! :)

13 months!!

Jaycee Anabelle is 13 months old!!

The whole month of December was absolutely crazy for her!! Between her birthday that went on for about a week, and then Christmas was so close to that, it felt like one big whirlwind!! I am so glad to see January!!

From her 12 months to her 13 months, I just can't get over how much I think she has changed. I think her hair is getting so much longer (now if we could only get some thickness without mommy having to get out her teasing comb!) hahaha. I think she's also getting a little bit taller. I honestly do think she's going to be petite, but she's fitting better and better into her 18 month clothes. I'm sorry, but I think there is a HUGE difference between 12 month clothes and 18 month clothes!!! I find myself now only buying her clothes that say 12-18 months. I feel like it's an in between size, and I'm much more satisfied!! She's got a long torso, and short legs. :)

*We are in size 4 diapers

*We wear a size 3 shoe (finally!)

*She eats like a pig!! Loves nutri grain bars or peanut butter and smashed banana for breakfast.

Eats lunch meat, cheese, and bread, with applesauce for lunch

Then eats either whatever we're having for dinner, but if it's too spicy or unhealthy, I'll fix her a gerber graduates dinner, and she likes those pretty well too!

*She can say: mama, dada, ball, bye bye, hi, and is just starting to say dog. (It's so cute, I look at her and go "hello" and she goes, "hi!" hahaha. It's so stinkin' cute, b/c once again it's very country sounding!

*She is a true, hardcore walker now! No more crawling, unless she's chasing a ball she's rolled. I love watching that little girl walk. I could watch it all day. I sit and think about how she'll be running around in no time. She tries to run now, but quickly falls.

*She has 7 teeth with 2 more at the surface ready to come through! We've really been battling the teething phase again lately, but she's had SO many I think 3 or 4 already in this past month come thru. She's done pretty well this time around, except she seems to find comfort in sucking on her paci. I hate to take it away, b/c I know that helps the teething, but I hate to let her use it all the time. I get so torn on this subject.

*We have been trying to teach her to hold her hands up and say "all done" when she's ready to get out of her high chair. She had gotten into a bad habit of wiggling really hard and crying when she was done eating, so I'm trying to encourage a healthier way for her to relay to us when she's ready to get down. So far, she's got the hands up part down. But isn't saying it. So I look at her and go "all done??" And she throws her hands up!! it's cute...

*I hate to even mention this unless I'm jinxing myself, but we are napping better throughout the day. Usually about an hour to an hour and a half, and I'll take it compared to her 30 minute ones. And what's even better is that it's IN HER CRIB!!!

*Also, regarding nap time, we have gotten to where I will get her relaxed, and then I will put her in the crib awake, and she will get herself to sleep now!! WHOO HOO!!! I am beyond pumped about this! ( I know many of you moms out there have done this from the beginning, but we were suckers and always got her to sleep first...)

*She loves to dance!!

*She LOVES it if you act like you're going to eat her feet!!! I think she pees her pants everytime I do this to her. Her belly giggles get so hard she can't breathe!!

She's so adorable, and so much fun, and getting to raise this little girl is the biggest blessing of my life!! Her inner beauty is just as beautiful as the outer!! My prayer is that never changes!!

HAPPY 13 MONTHS JAYCEE!!

i looked in the mirror...

Well since I couldn't procrastinate any longer on how to change my life for the next year, I decided to take an even harder look at myself this year, a look that is more personal...and I discovered many things about me that I wasn't super excited to see.

I not only decided to do the 'eat better' , 'exercise more', 'lose 15 lbs before we go to Jamaica in June' resolution, but to actually see what part of me as a person that could also change for the better. I usually try to avoid this and tell myself that I usually always try to do what's right, and I try to be a good christian and friend and that those things are enough to make up who I am. I find myself though, with those that I'm the closest to, to not always have those qualities show through as much as I even try to portray those to merely aquaintances.

So I did, what I had to do. I looked at myself in the mirror and talked outloud to myself (like a fool) and told myself the things that I needed to work on as a person of quality. I did the whole "what if I died ,what would people say about me at my funneral" type of thing. And while I can assume what most of my friends and people I hardly know would say, but what would my husband say (or think..which is scarier), or what would my siblings and parents say or think b/c they seem to be around the real me. They see and know me "raw." And is me "raw" the best I can be?? Of course not, and that is why I decided this year, I would work more on the inner me.

As much as we all should have accountability partners in life, I think we should also do this for ourselves at times. I have brought to the surface the things that I wish to work on, and while I hope only positive things can happen from this, it has humbled me so much.

I want to share with you my biggest challenge. I can be at work, or with friends, or people I hardly know, and if I think I've done something wrong, I'm IMMEDIATELY freaking out and apologizing for whatever it might be that I have done. With my husband, or my family, for some reason it's the opposite. Why, I have no clue. The people that are closest to me, I put up the biggest/baddest front. I have learned that I struggle between weakness vs. humility or humbleness.

If I apologize to my husband, will he think he's won the fight that I so desperately 'want' to win?? Or if I apologize will he humble himself too and apologize for his part?? I struggle with that so much, and it's so much apart of stubbornness and I'm sure part pride. I have vowed that if I am in the wrong, even if his wrong started the fight, to at least apologize for my part even if he hasn't said he's sorry yet. This to me is going to be a HUGE battle for me, while I'm sure it's easy for others, it's a fault of mine. I like to be right!! hahaha.

I want this little girl to grow up with parents that strive to be the best they can be, and I want her to grow up humble, and to know what we all fall short and none of us are perfect. And that has to start with me and her daddy. We have to portray that to her, for her to learn those qualities.

I am so sorry for those of you who actually read through this whole thing. If you're not asleep, I thank you and ask for your prayers for 2011, and I will do the same for you! It's never too late to make yourself a better person. Some people just don't have as much work as I do!! :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND I PRAY THAT EVERYONE IS BLESSED BEYOND WORDS IN THESE NEXT 12 MONTHS!!